Living in Ignorance-Part 2

“The Greatest Discovery in life is self-discovery. Until you find yourself you will always be someone else. Become yourself.”

-Dr. Munroe

Don’t destroy your gift of life by living with a lack of knowledge…

In the spring of 2000, seated in my high school cafeteria with my classmates, the day finally arrived when our teachers put us on display for a Student Success event—the event was for our co-op education volunteer experiences. The teachers instructed us to share our knowledge by making a display with a poster board.

The cafeteria became filled with students from other grade levels looking in and observing. Some were hanging out, and some were asking questions about each of our job experiences.

For my hands-on learning experience, I chose Chapter’s bookstore because of my love of books and reading.

As I sat at my display table, waiting for a fellow student to come by my mind drifted off to thinking of my future.

It occurred to me that I was still unclear about what I genuinely wanted to do after high school.

Even though the co-op Education program we all were in directed us to test-drive career options and learn about the workforce, I was still clueless about what I wanted to do.

I began counting in my mind how many months left of school, I started to get nervous and scared.

Questions like:

We’re floating around in my mind as I gazed out into the crowd.

Several days after the main event…

There was an assembly for all the grade 12 students within the program and during this time, I overheard another student telling her friend she would take the year off after high school and work.

It sounded like a great idea at first, but here I was confused about what I wanted to do, and here was one of my classmates who had everything sorted out on her end.

So, I thought!

At this point, I had already been working as a part-timer at a deli shop making smoothies and sandwiches, so I felt this would be an excellent opportunity to find something else but full-time.

I was convinced…

This is what I will do!

So, I went ahead with the idea. I’ll take the year off and just work and save money…

But little did I know, taking a year off would turn into two years of working, two different retail jobs, and enrolling in two short-term private colleges.

Thinking all the time, which one will bring me success?

Boy was I dead wrong…

It only added dissatisfaction, countless job interviews, added debt from loans, and a whole heap of frustration in my early adult life.

Nothing felt settled to me or meaningful as a grew into an adult.

It all boiled down to this; I did not have the proper knowledge or information to support me enough to help me make the right decisions. The decision I made came up short, and what was the result?

I felt cheated and defeated.

Every job opportunity felt blah… it seemed reasonable at first, but they never gave me a sense of destiny or purpose. So, the cycle of dead-end jobs continued with no end in sight.

As life went by, I got married and had my first son, still trying to figure things out as we go and living life as it was; struggling to get through each day and making ends meet to take care of and raise our son.

But deep down inside, I felt incompetent.

Have you felt that way? (Leave a comment below)

Sometime within this time, I silently turned anxious and depressed.

Finding a job suddenly began harder because it involved many things, especially who would watch my son?

But I knew I would figure things out.

It was a must… finances became tight.

I did find an odd job to do and met new friends along the way with their kids, allowing me to learn and grow as a mom.

But still, there was one thing that I felt like I was missing. but did not know what!  That one thing deep down inside was being ignored and pushed aside by life’s events.

That thing just wanted to be found and released.